Forget Me Not
by scarlet tribe
Summary: SHe was married but doesn't remember it. She doesn't remember anything. Hellena lost her memory after being hit by a truck. Six years later, after being kicked out of her apartment she meets John. He offers her a place to stay and she accepts. No one expected the whirlwind of emotions. No one expect Sherlock to be alive. Sherlock never expected to see her in his flat. Sherock/oc
1. Chapter 1 story of my life

Story of my life

Sherlock

SO while listening to the story of my life by 1D (which is stuck in my head) and reading the mazing story called When We Fall (which is amazing and you guys need to read it) I was inspired to write my own story. Its really similar to the When We Fall at first but will branch off ni a different direction. Please let me know what you guys think! Enjoy!

* * *

The truck fell on its side and skidded toward her, headlights blinded her and she lifted her arms to shield her sight. A strong force slammed into her and she saw darkness and felt an extreme coldness and her breath was lost. Her conscience was gone.

It was weeks later. The woman lying on the bed in the hospital tried to keep her eyes closed because of the harsh light. SHe rolled her head to the side and opened them slowly. SHe was sore and stiff. Some of her limbs felt trapped and her chest was constricted my something. SHe could hear people walking by in a hallway, machines beeped and the smell of antiseptic assaulted her sense. SHe groaned slightly and tried to sit up. A hand gently grabbed her shoulder. sHe heard muffled noises and looked to the people around her. THey were asking questions. SHe couldn't understand them. Her breathing became difficult and she felt panic rising in her. Something squeezed her hand gently and she flinched and snapped her head to her hand and brought her hand to her chest, protecting it. IT was a tall man with dark hair and stunning eyes. THe man was her husband. SHe stared at him, not understanding. He looked hurt, confused, worried. THe man said something to the doctor but everything was muffled.

"-lena...Hellena. Hellena, can you hear me?" a voice said. SHe assumed he was speaking to her. SHe turned her head from the tall man to the man who looked like a doctor. "Can you hear me?" SHe nodded.

"Good. Hellena, do you know who I am?" SHe stared at him for aminute before shaking her head. "Hellena, you woke up a few hours ago. I spoke t oyou a bit. Do you remember?" SHe shook her head. THe man furrowed his eyebrows.

"Hellena, can you speak?"

"Why do you keep calling me that?" SHe whispered. SHe heard him mutter an expletive.

"DO you remember your name?" SHe shook her head after thinking for a few minutes. Her eyes began to tear up. THe tall man beside her tensed and crouched down to her bed.

"DO you remember anything? DO you know who I am?" He asked her in a hurried voice. He sounded desperate. THE pain on his face when she shook her head made the tears fall over her cheeks. SHe began to sob. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." sHE whispered.

"Hellena, why are you apologizing?" THe doctor asked. SHe looked at him. "Did i do something to hurt him?" She whispered motioning to the man. "I think i did." sHE turned back to him. "WHat ever I did I am so sorry. What did I do?" SHe said to him but the man could not look her in the eyes. He stood and walked quickly from the room and down the hall.

Hellena began to cry again. THe doctor gave her a minute before speaking.

"Hellena, I need to check your vitals real quick is this ok?" He asked. SHE nodded. HE checked her heart, lungs, pulse. Everything. IT went fine until he had to check her eyes.

"Follow my fingers." SHe did as she was told. He took out a flashlight. "Look straight ahead, Hellena." SHe did and he shined the light in her eyes. THe moment it hit her eyes she saw a truck sliding right at her until it reached her. She screamed and jerked away, sobbing again she was apologizing. THe doctor gave her time to collect herself.

"I am sorry Hellena." THe doctor said. SHE looked at him. He stared a few minutes, trying to find the right words.

"Hellena, you are suffering from amnesia. You were hit by a truck. It fell on its side before sliding into you. It knocked you off the bridge. You are very lucky to be alive." SHe stared, eyes wide. HE gave her a minute to digest the news. He continued after two minutes.

"Hellena, there is a possibility you may never remember. There is also a possibility you will remember everything. " He said and stood, leaving the woman to rest. He stopped at the door.

"I will have the nurse give you some more painkillers. And a sedative to help you sleep." Hellena froze. Fear gripped her heart like in an icy grip.

"No!" SHe screamed. Before she realized what she was doing she jumped out of the bed, adrenaline coursing through her veins. THe doctor tried to grab her and calm her down but her fist struck him in the chest and winded him. "Nurse!" He called. Hellena ran down the hall, looking for an exit.

SHe let her legs carry her to the main loby and out the door. SHe faintly heard someone calling after her but ignored it. SHe kept running. WHat was she running from? THe meds? THe doctor? THe amnesia? THe man she hurt without even remembering it?

She didn't know she just kept running.

* * *

Six years later.

It was the second year. The second year since John watched SHerlock jump from the roof of St. Bart's. John wanted to be anywhere but the flat so he grabbed his coat and cane (the limp was back) and trudged down the street.

John walked, not caring where he went. He almost went to Angelo's but decided against it. He walked around for a good hour before stopping at a pub. He walked in and sat at the bar. He rubbed his for head, waiting to be served.

"Have you been served, sir?" John looked up to see the bartender who would be serving him. It was a lovely young woman, around his age, maybe a year or two younger. SHe was five foot four with curly brown hair pulled into a messy bun.

"No, I haven't. Can i get just a coke and rum please?" he asked the bartender smiled and nodded. "SUre thing." Her voice was soft.

John looked aroun. THere was hardly anyone in. A few people sat in booths and tables. There were only two other men at the bar. THe bartend came back with his drink.

"On the house. You look like you have had a rough day." SHe said sympathetically. John stared at her.

"Thanks. And yeah, it is." He took a sip. SHe began cleanign glasses with a dishtowel. "Need to talk? I'm a pretty good listener." John was taken aback at the offer. He was confused. WHy was this upbeat, happy person asking why he was down? WHy waste their time? THe woman seemed to know what he was thinking SHe leaned in a bit.

"Sometimes, the best thing in the world is talking to a stranger about a problem. Someone who wont judge or change the way they act around you." She explained, still cleaing the glass. A small, understanding smile was on her face. John breathed in.

"I suppose it can't hurt." HE said. THE woman smiled a bit brighter. "Well, spill, soldier." John froze.

"How did you-" He stuttered. THe bartender widened her eyes.

"Oh my gosh I am so sorry. Are you not?" SHe asked, worried she offended him. He smiled a bit and shook his head.

"No, no I am. Just how did you know?" SHe shifted.

"Well, a few things. I have been around alot of soldiers here. You have the same haircut, similar stance, certain parts of your demeanor. But you are more pleasant than most. Thank you for your service, by the way." He nodded. "SO go on, spill." SHe said lightly, leaning on the counter, listening. John shook his head.

"It happened two years ago. I am sure you have heard about it." He eyed her.

"I don't watch the news, if that is what you mean. I don't go on the internet either. It's all so dull and usually false. Besides, how does it affect me?" John forze again. SHe noticed. "What?" He shook his head. "Nothing."

"SO what happened two years ago?" SHe prodded quietly. He looked at his drink beofre sipping it slowly.

"My best mate in the world, the most brilliant man I have ever met, jumped off the roof of St. Bart's. TOday is the anniversary of it. Two years ago he died. I watched him jump. He was on the phone with me. I should have done something! Said something. tHEre must have been something-"

"Hey." SHe said gently yet sternly. SHe grabbed his shoulders. "THere was nothing you could have done. You two were best friends. You did all you could just by listening. Do not blame yourself for other's choices." SHe released him and offered a small smile. THere were tears in his eyes.

"Well that settles it." SHe turned and pulled up a bottle of brandy. It was a big bottle. SHe took out a small wad of cash and stuffed it into the register. Popping it open she grabbed two small glasses and poured. "We both need a good drink tonight."

"WOn't your boss be mad you are drinking on the job?" John asked curiously.

"Nah, as long as I don't get drunk and its slow like today. He's a friend of mine too so i get some slack." SHe said as she downed her first glass quickly. SHe poured more and handed one to John.

"So what's your name, soldier?" SHe asked, sipping on the brandy.

"John, John Watson." He said reaching out to meet her open hand in a firm shake. "Yours?" THe woman froze a bit.

"Hellena." SHe said stiffly and sipped her brandy some more.

"No last name?" John pushed a bit.

"Not a real one." John furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" SHe poured more in his glass since he downed his. SHe leaned on the counter again. "Don't ask it's a long story." John smiled a bit.

"I have plenty of time to kill." SHe looked at him, weighing her options. SHE picked up a dirt glass and began cleaning it again.

"Today is an anniversary of mine too." SHe admitted quietly. John waited for her to continue. HE leaned on the counter, interested.

"Six years ago today, I woke up form a three week coma. I had been hit by a truck and knocked off a bridge. They say I am lucky to be alive." John was confused. Shouldn't she be glad she was alive and well? He furrowed his eyebrows. "Isn't waking up a good thing?" He asked quietly.

"Not when you don't remember." SHe muttered. She sipped some more brandy before elaborating. "I have amnesia. I have bits and peices from dreams. THe truck, my parent's deaths, friends from primary and secondary school. Bits and peices of uni but nothing concrete." SHe sighed and leaned on the counter.

"WHen I woke up there was man holding my hand. I have no idea who he was he left the room shortly after i woke up. I didn't know who he was. He looked so hurt, betrayed and I don't even know what I did." Tears filled her eyes. "His pain still haunts me." SHe sniffled before drinking some more and refilling her glass.

"Ya know, he used to show up from time to time, after i bolted from the hospital. I ran out the front doors the same day I woke up. Every time he showed up I always got so angry. Frustrated. I think it's because of the pain he always showed." Her voice was stronger. John listened to her story.

"ANdit gets worse." SHe said almost happily. John was startled at her sudden switch in mood. He detected hints of sarcams. "Hm?" he inquired as he sipped the brandy. "MHm. Yesterday my landlord kicked me out. I'm staying in a hotel until i can find a place."

"Wow. THat's rough. ANy luck?" John inquired.

"Nope." SHe popped the "p." "THe landord is moving to Dublin but has to sell the place before he can."

"Are you opposed to sharing a flat?" John inquired. Why was he asking her? they just met! Well, stranger things have happened. Hellena pursed her lips in thought.

"Ah, I guess not. WHy you knwo someone lookin'?" John nodded. "Yeah. Well sort of. You can stay with me. My flatmate was my friend who died. It woudl be nice to have someone help pay rent for once." Hellena laughed.

"He never paid rent?" John chuckled sadly and shook his head. "Sorry for your loss. I'm sure he was a good man." SHe said quietly.

"Yea he was. He just didn't know it." John said sadly and let HEllena pur him another drink.

"WHat was his name?" HSe raised her glas to her lips and began to sip from it.

"SHerlock Holmes." HE said. Hellena froze and dropped the glass. THe sound of it shattering brought her out of her trance and she went to cleaning it up as quickly as she could.

"Shit, sorry!" She said as John leaned over "You ok?" He asked. "What was that about?" Hellena stood. "NOt sure. THe name just sounds familiar."

"You probably have heard his name from other people." John offered. Hellena nodded but didn't quite agree. It didn't sound rihgt but she waved it away.

"SO, do you mind if I move in tomorrow? I don't have much. Just two suitcases." SHe asked. John was startled abit.

"Yeah. You can meet the landlady too. REally sweet lady. You sure you don't want to check it out before you move?" He asked. SHe nodded.

"I just want out of the hotel. SO many boring people." Hellena laughed and John stared. THe clock on the wall chimed. It was midnight. "Well, cheers and happy anniversary John." SHe toasted to John. John couldn't hep but smile sadly, nod and drink.

"SO what's the address?" SHe asked, putting everything away and getting ready to close up.

"221B Baker Street."

* * *

Hellena knocked on the door and pulled her coat tighter around herself as she waited for John to open the door. She hoped she had the right address. AN elder lady opened the door.

"Oh, deary are you Ms. Hellena?" THe lady asked. Hellena nodde.d "Yes ma'am. Are you Ms. Hudson?" Hellen asked.

Hellena dropped her things on the floor and looked around. It smelled dusty. Nothing had been touched in a while and it was very cluttered. THere was a door that had not been opened in a while. THere was a pile of things in front of it. It must have been his friend's things.

"Ah, Hellena! DO you wnat some tea?" John asked exiting the kitchen. Hellena nodded. "Yes please." SHe followed into the kitchen. THere were so many things that looked unsafe to have in kitchen. SHe walked over to the fridge and opened it. John protested but she ignored him and peered in. THere was a head.

"Oh! Hello, there." SHe said out loud. John looked at her curiously. "Are you...talking to the head?" SHe looked blankly at him and shut the fridge.

"Yes, I am talking to yours as well." Her face was blank before it broke into a smile. "Sorry, just didn't expect it." She laughed. John shook his head. "DOn't worry. ANd be careful there are odd things all around the flat." He handed her a mug of tea. SHE sipped it. It was warm and good.

THey walked into the living room and sat. John was in his chair and Hellena sat on the couch, in case the chair was his friend's. She did not want to offend her new flat mate. John was staring at the chair sadly.

"John?" She asked sadly. He snapped out of his reverie. SHe briefly envied him for even being able to remember a friend.

"Oh, yes sorry about that."

"DOn't worry about it." Hellena smiled. "So, sorry it is a bit cluttered. DO you think you will stay?" John asked sipping his tea. Hellena looked around. THE clutter was so familiar. "I think I will." SHe said quietly turning back to John with a small smile.

"I warn you though, I may not be the best flatmate. I am an emotional wreck most times." SHe confessed leaning forward. She rested her elbows on her knees and held her tea. JOhn chuckled.

"I think I can manage you." He suddenly got sad. He almost felt bad for replacing Sherlock. But she needed a place and he need to start...moving on.

"Hellena?" John asked, looking from the clutter to her. Her head perked up. "DO you think...can you? Uhm. Would you mind helping pack. Pack his things." HE stuttered out. Hellena smiled sadly and nodded. Perhaps they could heal each other. Maybe this will be good for the both of them.

* * *

It was late. The two had stayed up talking, just getting to know each other. Nothing personal or depressing was shared.

When the two parted ways, John showed her to a spare bedroom that had a matress. HE apologized for not having an actual bed but Hellena was fine with it.

Hellena threw on flannel bottoms and a thick, warm jumper. She was curled under a comforter. SHe tried to sleep but it did not come easily. FOr the past six years she has not had one full night of sleep unless it was alcohol or sleep aid induced.

SHe shifted adn tossed adn turned for hours before giving up. With a sigh she stood and wrapped the blanket around her. SHe headed downstairs. She stood in the living room, just looking around. Some of the things looked so familiar. Sitting on the couch she breathed in the dusty air. SHe could smell Johns cologne in teh flat but there was a fainter one. It was more appealing and more...familiar? She could barely smell it but it was there.

SHe suddenly felt the emptiness the man left behind in this flat. SHe wrapped the blanket around her as an intense loneliness engulfed her heart.

Tears pricked her eyes and she struggled to keep them back. SHe lied down and breathed into the couch.

WHo was she? What did she do before the accident? WHo was that man who plagued her dreams?

These thoughts swirled in her head as she fell asleep.

_"Help me." SHe demanded as she sat in front of a young man. She was demanding he help her. What was he going to help her with?_

_Calculus__. HE was goign to help her with her Calculus class in Uni. THis was a memory. sHE couldn't see his face. It was blurry._

_"ANd why shoudl I? DO It yourself." He stated. SHe frowned and threw her Symbology book at him. He frowned at it. SHe knew he was struggling in that class. THey had the same class. "Teach me Calc. I teach you symbols. Fair?"_

_"Fair enough." She smiled at the victory._

The dream switched to a different memory. It was still fuzzy.

_Hellena was walking on a bridge. Actually she was runnign after a man. No she was running with him. THey were chasing a man together. He was dangerous and they were tryign to stop him? Yes! But who?_

_Hellena tunred to see the truck sliding at her. THe monet it hit her she woke._

Hellena sat up screaming and holding her head in pain. SHe silenced herslef and looked around. SHe was in the flat. She was alive. SHe was ok. SHe heard someone running down a flight of steps. SHe looked to see a groggy John with a gun. "Hellena? WHat are you doing on the couch?" SHe burst into tears. She didn't even know why really.

"Oh God, what's wrong?" John asked and he sat down next to her. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she curled into him. He hugged her and rubbed her back.

"Hellena, what happened?" He asked. "THe truck, the truck. It hit me. It was going to hit me." SHe murmured. Suddenly she let go of John and leaned away.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I'm so sorry. Go back to sleep I'm ok. Just a night mare." SHe waved him away.

"Hellena, its fine I wasn't really able to sleep as well." SHe leaned back against the backrest and eyed John.

"DO you ever wake up screaming?" SHe asked quietly. He could hear the exhaustion in her voice. He nodded slowly. "It always happens right when he hits the ground." He admitted. HE felt so open to her. Like he could tell her anything and she would listen without judging. He trusted her and she was so patient with listening. But now she needed someone to listen to her.

"I'm sorry, John." SHe muttered.

"Hellena?" SHe opened her eyes and looked at him. Her eyes were a very dark brown, in the light they looked black. "Hm?"

"I will listen. You can tell me anything that is on your mind." SHe looked down at the couch but brought her eyes back to his quickly.

"I'm angry John." SHe said, voice void of emotion. HE listened to her.

"I'm angry and tired. I don't know who I am. What have I done with my life? Do I have friends? Does anyone miss me? Is there anyone I should miss? In a way I envy you. You have the ability to mourn your friend. You can still remember him, let his memory live through you. Do I even have friends?" She began to whisper at the end.

"It's so frustrating not knowing who I am. It's driving me crazy." SHe ran a hand through her hair. "I don't even know where to begin looking." SHe admitted. John sat and thought. Was there anything he could do to help her? After a while he came up with an answer.

"Give it time. Let the memories come back on their own. THey already are starting to aren't they?" He asked. SHe nodded.

"I'm too impatient." SHe muttered. John chuckled. Hellena smiled sadly.

"I have a new memory." SHe said quietly. John quirked an eyebrow. "Oh really? Let's hear it."

Hellena told him about the Calculus and Symbology courses she took. She was good at one but not the other. SHe asked a classmate for help. He needed help too. SHe told him the memory.

"He was such a grouch too! He was the most egotistical, arrogant jerk I had ever met!" SHe laughed. SHe remembered a bit about him but not a lot. John chuckled.

"I think we got along after that though." John laughed a bit at that. THey sat in a comfortable silence.

John was begging to nodd off a bit. "John?" SHe asked quielty. He hummed in response.

"Can you tell me about him some day?" He turned to her. "When it doesn't hurt so much, can you tell me about your friend?" SHe asked, her voice just barley a whisper. John nodded and Hellena smiled. Her head was still on the backrest and she closed her eyes. John saw as she fell asleep. She looked so relaxed. He leaned his head back and smiled sadly. It turned to a frown.

"Will it ever hurt less?" He muttered to the air.

* * *

John woke up on the couch. It took him a moment to remember how he got there.

He got up and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. He thought about the conversation from the night previous. HE felt so bad for her. He limped back out with a mug and sat in his chair. He stared at SHerlock's for a long while. He remembered their first meeting.

He turned with furrowed eyebrows to teh door as he heard footsteps heading towards them. They were too heavy to be Mrs. Hudson's. John's eyes widened when Mycroft stood at his door.

"Mycroft." He said standing. He used his cane to keep him up. Mycroft eyed him up and down.

"I see your limp has returned." HE said, noting John's limp. "I see you have gained weight." John said blandly. Mycroft frowned. "It appears I am not the only one gaining something." He motioned to the person on the couch.

"New flatmate. No concern of yours." John said firmly.

"Ah, you are wrong. It is absolutley my business."

"WHy is that?" John challenged and Mycroft paused. HE almost seemed to be struggling internally.

"How well do you know her?" He asked. John frowned.

"Not very well. But she doesn;t knwo herself that well either. SHe has amnesia. Why do you ask? WHy do you care?" John asked harshly.

Mycroft looked at the ground. John noticed Mycroft wasn't being Mycroft. Hellena stirred and opened her eyes. THey immediatly landed on Mycroft. He froze and she felt panic fill her.

Standing she asked "WHo are you, why are you here?" Mycroft relaxed but John notice sadness flash across the man's eyes.

"SO you really do not remember anything." HE stated. Hellena widened her eyes.

"DO I know you? How do you know me?" sHe demanded. Hellena let the blanket fall the the floor. SHe marched over to Mycroft and got in his face.

"You know something. Tell me!" SHe demanded. John was shocked mycroft wasn't doing anything about her attitude. If anything Mycroft sat there and took it like he felt he deserved it.

"My dear, I fear I cannot. It is something you have to figure out on your own." He said sadly. Hellena's hand flew without her consent. SHe smacked Mycroft Holmes right on the cheek. John stood in shock. Mycroft couldn't meet her eyes. "I don't care if you **_are_** part of the Brittish Government, you have no right to keep my past from me!" She yelled and stormed out of the flat. John made a motion to go after her but Mycroft stopped him.

"Let her go." HE said quietly. John stared at Mycroft. "Why are you here?" John asked cautiously. For a while Mycroft said nothing.

"SHe is remembering." Mycroft said quietly. John furrowed his eyebrows.

"SHe knew I was involved in the Government yet as far as she knows, we have never met." Mycroft explained. Realization dawned on John. "Mycroft how do you know her?" John asked.

The man shook his head. "John, please, for everyone's sake, let her remember on her own. Do not dig into the matter. Do not try to find the answer yourself. Let the memories come back. When something is forced on her, she runs." John rolled his eyes. Of course he was being so damned cryptic.

Mycroft moved to leave. He froze in the door way.

"John. Heal her for us. For all of us." Mycroft stated. John just watched him leave, confusion clear on his face. He stood in the living room trying to sort out his thoughts. Not having much success he shook his head and went to getting ready for work.

* * *

Hellena stormed through the streets in her pajamas. That ass hole refused to shed even a little light on her life! he knew her! SHe knew he did! WHy wouldn't he tell her!?

Frustration coursed through her veins. sHe sat on a bench and buried her head in her hands.

Mycroft. Mycroft who? she thought about the man she just encountered. sHE knew him. HE seemed a bit familiar.

Mycroft. member of the British government. THe only emotion affiliated besides anger and frustration was fondness. SHe slightly remembered enjoying his presence. He was someone familiar. Something about a diet too. And cake.

SHaking her head, Hellena stood and decided to get back to the flat. Maybe today sh would start packing.

SHe pulled out a box and began to take papers off a desk and neatly stack them into the box. Next were some open notebooks. sHE closed them slowly and gently placed them on top of the papers. Most of the desk was cleared. SHe grabbed another box and started again. Papers, notebooks and small containers were placed in the box.

FOr some reason, putting them away felt wrong. a loneliness filled her again and she found herself tearing up She wiped her eyes and continued slowly. But every time she placed an item in the box, it got harder. SHe only packed two boxes. SHe set them in front of the closed door.

If John was ok with the packing, she would put it in his friend's room. If not she would unpack it. SHe wiped her hands of the dust and turned. SOmethign on the mantle caught her eye.

It was a skull.

_"Do we have to keep the skull, -?" She asked. SHE didn't remember the name, only that she said it._

_"Of course. I need someone to speak with while you are gone." a deep voice said behind her. SHe pulled it out of the box and set it on the shelf. It was a small skull of a dog. Not a human. _

_Strong arms wrapped around her waist and someone kissed her neck. "I love you." She laughed and turned but saw nothing but blinding lights of a truck heading towards her. SHe screamed in shock._

Hellena jumped and shouted. Her heart was beating so fast. Tears were streaming down her face. sHE did have someone she cared for. SHe was in love adn she couldn't remember his name or face. Where was he? Was he looking for her?

Hellena looked at the human skull on the mantle. She gently picked it up and held it to her chest. SHe started to walk to the couch but fell to her knees. Her crying turned to sobbing and she fell on her side.

THere she lied, clutching the skull to her chest, seeking comfort from it. SHe sobbed for hours over the man she loved at one point. If they met again woudl she still love him? did he move on? Did he know John's friend?

SHe knew the answers to none of these questions. THe only thing she knew was that she was hurting.

John came home to see her on the floor. He saw her sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, clutching SHerlock's skull.

"Hellena! Oh God what happened?" HE asked as he limped over to her quickly. He helped her up. SHe sat on the floor, refusing to let go of the skull.

"I started packing and I saw the skull. John I-..." SHe trailed off and began sobbing again. John pulled her into a hug.

"I WAS IN LOVE." SHe screamed into his shoulder. John froze.

"JOhn. I loved him! I can't remember him but I remember being in love! I was moving in with him John!" SHe sobbed harder than ever. John rubbed her back and forced himself not to cry. The poor girl. He could not imagine the pain. HE was in love with Mary. What if He lost all memory of her?

Eventually, Hellena cried herself out and fell asleep in John's arms. He sat there, wondering what to do. He slowly picked her up. It was a bit difficult with his leg but she was light.

He limped over to the couch and set her down. After pulling the blanket over her he turned to see his cane on the floor.

"Hu." He huffed. He picked it up and set it next to his chair. He took out his phone and called Mary. HE told AMry about his new flat mate. WIth her big heart and complete trust in John, she of course had no issue with it. Mary actually wanted to meet her soon.

"John?" Her voice said over the phone.

"Hi, Mary. I am so sorry about this but I may have to cancel tonight." He said sadly. Mary had been gone for a week and just got back today.

"John, what's wrong is everything alright?" SHe asked worried.

"Yes. Its just... Hellena, the new flat mate. SHe had a memory return today. Tore her up bad. I came home to see her on the floor sobbing. I think she had been ther for hours. I am not sure if I should leave her alone tonight." He was unsure of what to do. John waited for a response form MAry. There was a pause.

"WHat did she remember?" Mary asked cautiously. John paused and swallowed hard.

"SHe was in love Mary. She moved in with someone she loved. She hasn't remembered this for six years." He heard Mary gasp into the phone. "MAry?"

"John. I am going to come over tonight." SHe stated.

"Mary. Are you-" Mary cut him off.

"I am on my way. sHE shouldn't be alone tonight. We can both cheer her up. See you soon." Mary hugn up. John looked at his phone and smiled. the woman had the biggest heart in the world.

He turned to Hellena. HE walked over (without his cane) and knelt down to her. Gently placing a hand on her shoulder he called her name softly.

She hmmed in response.

"Mary is going to be here in a few minutes." He told her softly. SHe was still half asleep.

"Oh, you had a date tonight. Go on it, don't let me keep you form her, Sebastian." she mumbled.

"What?" John asked loudly. Did she know him? Hellena was startled loudness and sat up.

"What? GO on your date." SHe said. He looked confused.

"You called me Sebastian."

"Did I? I'm sorry." She said looking about as confused as John.

"Who is he?"

"Um..." She thought for a minute. Nothing really came to her except uni.

"I think He was a class mate from Uni." SHe shrugged. "I don't even know where I went to Uni. So When is Mary going to be here?" SHe asked quietly.

"In a minute or so." Hellena smiled sadly. "Guess I need to get dressed hu?" SHe said standing. Seh slowly made her way up the steps and to the spare room.

She changed into jeans and a baggy tee shirt. Not much of an improvement but right now she didn't care too much. sHe kept her hair down and brushed her teeth.

Makign her way downstairs she saw a blonde woman standing in the living room with John. She turned to Hellena with a warm smile.

"Hello, you must be Hellena!" SHe offered a hand to shake. hellena took it and tried to smile. "Nice to meet you, mary."

After an exchange of greetings, Mary offered the two chineese food. Hellena's stomach answered for her and the three were on the couch, eating chinese and watching crap telly. Actually the girls talked and John contributed in some parts f the conversation.

It was nice. It really was but Hellena could not shake the guilt and loneliness.

* * *

please reveiw I know its kinda slow and dull. am i reachign your guy's emotins? like can you empathize with her well enoguh? Is it good so far? please reveiw.


	2. Chapter 2 forget me not

Forget me not

SO he is going to come back differently in this than in the series. Ok? Ok. It is going to be different.

It had been a few months since Hellena moved in. Winter was setting in.

She hadn't slept much or eaten much since the first day she was packing. No concrete memories came to her either. Just sounds and brief glimpses of things.

John was getting married though. He finally asked Mary. She was so happy for them Her and Mary had grown close. During their first meeting, Hellena begrudgingly told Mary what she remembered. And to her frustration she began to cry again. Mary just hugged her and let her. John had an arm on her shoulder.

Mary made Hellena promise to talk to her if she remembered anything or just needed to talk. And Hellena did. There would be times when Hellena was so frustrated with herself she would storm out of the flat and wander. She always went to the same place. Eventually Mary started meeting her their whenever Hellena stormed out.

When John told Hellena about the proposal, she was ecstatic he finally asked Mary. But when she saw the ring he was going to give her, She briefly remembered seeing a small band on her own finger. It was simple so probably just a promise ring. She remembered a white dress, also simple. It was her mother's.

Hellena teared up and had to look away. John knew she remembered something but didn't push. He hugged her and let her cry softly. She told him what she remembered but didn't rally understand why she was so sad.

Probably lack of sleep.

While John had been getting better and getting on with his life, Hellena seemed to be getting worse. She ate less and hardly ever slept. She worked but wasn't as happy as she used to be.

Today John was done with her moping. He missed he smiling and laughing.

"That's it. You need to get out of London." He said storming into her room while she lie on her matress. She hadn't moved in hours. John grabbed her suitcase and started packing. She sat up. "What?"

"You heard me. I'm shipping you out. You have to stay out of London for a week. DOcotrs oders."

"What? Why!?" She yelled, standing. Why was he throwing her out?

"You need fresh air. You need to get out. You do nothing but work and mope. I can't even begin to imagine what is wrong, but a change of scenery and some god damn sunshine wont' kill you." John said exasperated. He ranted about how she needed to get out for a bit and why. When he finished he stood there staring at her.

Hellena smiled softly before hugging him. He was slightly startled.

"Thank you for caring, John." She said quietly. She pulled back and looked at him. "But where will I go?"

* * *

John had sent her to Dartmoor. John called a friend and asked him to let her stay there for a while. He agreed.

No more than an hour later John was dragging her suitcase out of the flat and into a cab. She slowly sauntered down the steps. SHe wasn't happy about leaving.

"You will tell Mary I said hello yes?" SHe asked. Mary had been gone for a week again and came back today. John was goign to meet her for dinner after he shipped Hellena off. John rolled his eyes. "Of course. Now have fun alright?" He said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder. She nodded and hugged him tightly.

In the past few moths, the two had become close friends. He helped her with her memories and she helped him with moving on from Sherlock.

"Get going. you are going to be late." SHe said stepping from John and getting in the cab.

"Of course. Don't want to keep the lady waiting do I?" John chuckled. "See you in a week." He waved and she waved back as the cab drove her away. She woudl miss Baker Street but it was only a week. It wasn't going to kill her.

SHe was greeted by a young man. He ushered her inside and took her case. He offered her food and drink. After introductions, Hellena asked how she knew John.

"Henry, how do you know John?" SHe asked, sipping her tea. He smiled fondly at the memory.

"It was a crazy meeting, actually. I was a client of Sherlock and John's." He explained. Hellena knew they solved crimes by now. "What was the case about, if you don't mind me asking." SHe inquired.

"Not at all." Henry stated. THey sat on two comfy chairs in his living room. "About 20 years ago I witnessed my father's brutal death. THe memory was altered by a drug that made me think a hound had killed my father. THe drug showed up again about two years ago. The hound was back. I called upon the services of Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes." He explained simply. Hellena liked him. He was a quiet calm man.

"Hellena, John tells me you suffer from amnesia." he stated. She nodded, not sure what to say. He nodded. "I am sorry. Any luck getting it back?" He inquired good naturedly. She shook her head. "I have some but not much." She admitted sadly.

"I am sure it will come back someday." He offered with a small smile. SHe smiled back. THey sat in silence for a while. Neither were sure what to say.

She had arrived late. He gave offered her dinner but she lied and said she already ate. "Shall I show you to your room?" He offered. She nodded. He grabbed her suitcase, she protested but Henry insisted.

While walking up the stairs to her temporary room, he spoke. "The weather is supposed to be pleasant tomarrow. I could take you out on the moore if you would like. John wanted you to get outside often." He stated. Hellena nodded. "That would be lovely." SHe stated smiling.

She meant it too. How long has it been since she had been out for a proper walk?

He opened a door and ushered her into a simple but nice room.

"Thank you for letting me stay here." SHe said turning to him. He had a hand on the doorknob. He smiled. "Anything for a friend. A friend of John's is a friend of mine." He said and bid her goodnight. HE closed the door and left.

Hellena stood in the room and looked around. She didn't bother to unpack but pulled out pajamas and threw them on before climbing into the bed. SHe checked her phone but there were no messages. With a sigh she rolled over and closed her eyes. Sleep came easily and peacefully.

* * *

John and Mary were enjoying a lovely dinner. Thier waiter was an odd fellow but decent enough.

"How do you think she is doing?" MAry asked John with a small smile. John checked his phone.

"Well, she isn't calling threatening to kill me gain." He said with a smile.

"John, why did you hide energy drinks from her?" Mary asked laughingly. JOhn rolled his eyes. Within the first week she moved in, he noticed she bought a large amount of energy drinks and drank them at a dangerous pace he threw them out, trying to save her kidneys and she almost lunged at him. He laughed at the memory.

Mary and John talked and enjoyed each others company, the food and wine. THey had ordered dessert adn were waiting patiently when the waiter walked over. "Check please." He said. JOhn, not understanding the question looked up to see a gun in his face. Mary gasped and John swollowed.

"John." SHe whispered. He stared at the gun then at the gunman.

"He should have stayed dead." The man said. John furrowed his eyebrows. HE was so confused. "What?" He asked. The gunman sighed. "Your friend, Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes. He should have stayed dead."

"He is dead." John insisted. He watched him fall. THe man smirked. "SO be it." He was about to pull the trigger when a body crashed into the man. THe gun went off and hit the ceiling. Mary gasped and people screamed before running out of the building. John jumped into action. HE grabbed the gun from the floor and aimed at the two men struggling on the floor. He saw MAry still sitting in the booth. He went to her and knelt down.

"Mary, MAry are you alright." SHe nodded at him "John, I'm ok. John." SHe was shaken a bit by the situation. John turned back to the two men struggling the stranger had gained the upper hand and had the man pinned down face first. "Call Scotland Yard." THe man commanded. WHen he didn't hear a response he looked at John. "What are you doing? DOn't just stand there call Lestrade." He said and John froze. His jaw locked, he lowered the gun and stood straight.

SHerlock cuffed the man and stood. He walked over to John.

"John, I -" He was cut off my a punch to the face. It knocked him onto the floor. John knelt down and grabbed him by the coat jacket. He punched him again and shook him.

"YOU ARE DEAD! YOU DIED!" John yelled. SHerlock tried to speak but John kept yelling. "I WATCHED YOU DIE,Sherlock! I buried you!" He yelled. SHerlock let him yell. They sat there for a few minutes. John was debating on putting a bullet through is friend's head. MAry had called Lestrade without the two noticing.

"Are you finished?" SHerlock asked. John punched him in the jaw and stood. Sherlock slowly got to his feet as well, holding his face gently. John always hit hard.

"We need to leave." He told the couple before turning. "What?!" John yelled turning to Sherlock again. SHerlock walked up to him and grabbed his arm. "You two are not safe here. We need to leave." He said quietly.

"SHerlock! You died and now you are back! You expect us to just drop everything and leave with you?" John yelled.

"DO you really have any other choice?" SHerlock asked and motion to the scene around them.

* * *

it had been a few days since Hellena had been away from Baker street, she would be leaving tomorrow.

John was right. Getting out of London gave her a new sense of life. It was calm and quiet. SHe thought about her life so far on those walks on the moore.

SHe also thought about people. Just random people. She noticed little things about them. She always did but now that she had the time, she put them together like a puzzle. SHe could read them like open books.

SHe practiced in the market sometimes.

She slept better and began eating again until the third day. She wanted to make Henry a thank you dinner. She was cooking and as she pulled out hte plates she had a memory.

_Hellena pulled plates out of the cupboard. She was making dinner for once. It smelled really good and she was ready to eat she was so hungry. She could not even fathom how her husband? boyfriend? person she lives with? stops eating for cases. tonight was one of the nights he was willing to eat. They just finished a case._

_She was cooking penne pasta._

_Someone snuck up behind her and hugged her, kissing her neck again. SHe smiled. "Smells delicious." the deep voice rumbled. sHe could feel it against her back. She sighed content. A slender hand reached out to steal a noddle but she smacked it. "You have to wait. It's almost done." THe man sighed and released her. His arms went past her and took the plates out of her hand. He placed them on the counter and spun her to face him. His hands were on her waist. Hellena's hands were on his chest. _

_"I love you." _

_"I love you," to she whispered._

_He rocked them sided to side to the beat of music in his hummed a tune that was so familiar to her. It was made for a violin and he would play it for her often. _

THe tune was stuck in her head. SHe remembered every note the man played for her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to contain it. SHe heard the door open. "Smells good." Henry stated. She dropped to her knees sobbing.

Henry, startled and unsure of what happened, rushed over to her. He placed a soothing hand on her back. "Hellena, what's wrong, what happened?"

Hellena just sobbed for a few minutes. WHen she was able to get a hold of herself she told him it was a memory.

He nodded. "Was it a bad one?" He asked, SHe shook her head and tears kept flowing. He helped her up and turned off the stove. "Do you need to talk about it?" SHe shook her head. "I just need to make a call." SHe tried to smile. Henry nodded.

"Take your time." He nodded and let her go. Hellena went to her room and grabbed her phone. She found Mary's number and called.

THe phone rang but Mary did not answer. That was odd. SHe didn't leave a message but called John's number. HE picked up.

"HEllo?" He asked.

"John, it's Hellena." SHe stated, fighting back tears. "I need to talk to MAry." SHe was trying so hard not to sob.

"Mary is in the loo. I can have her call you back." He said. "Are you ok?"

"Fine. I'm fine." Hellena sniffed. "CAn I just tell you real quick? It was a short one." THere was a pause.

"Yeah go ahead. Just had to step outside for a minute." John said. Hellena took in a deap breath.

"He used to play the violin. He made me a song on it. I remember every note. I still can't remember him though."

"Hellena, you will. Just give it time. Do you still need to talk to Mary?" He asked. Hellena shook her head even though John couldn't see her.

"No. I'm not even sure why I had to tell her this. It's a poor one." SHe laughed sadly.

"No memory is unimportant." John said. Hellena sniffed and smiled. "So what are you two up to this evening? Am I interrupting anything?" SHe asked.

"Ah, no not really. It's not even a date we- Hey!" Hellena heard someone else take the phone.

"Who is this?" a deep, familiar voice sounded through the phone. SHe froze. wHere did she know this voice from? "answer me." It demanded.

"What?"

"WHo is this?" THe man asked again. She could hear John protesting in the background.

"Why? Where is John?" SHe paused. "Do I know you?" SHe aksed.

"I don't knwo do you?" She could hear the venom behind the words. She heard the struggle over the phone.

"Give it back! You are such a child. No, it's not! It's a friend of mine SHerlock!" John was arguing with someone.

"John, was that SHerlock?" Hellena asked. "Yeah. Turns out he's not dead."

John did not sound happy with the situation and the phones.

"How?" SHe asked. "He faked his death. He showed up the day you left. I almost got shot."

"John! what is going on!? are you ok?! where is mary is she ok?! Do i need to come home?!" SHe panicked.

"No, we are fine. stay there where it's safe. Promise you will stay there." JOhn said. His intensity chilled Hellena.

"Yeah. Ok...John?" SHe asked quietly. His tone changed. "Hm?"

"He sounds really familiar. Do I know him?" THere was a pause. "I can ask him if you want."

"Please."

John held the phone from his head a few inches. HE turned to SHerlock. "SHerlock?"

"What, John?" He was pouring over files and old case records. "SHerlock, do you know a Hellena?" John watched as the man froze. He was more rigid than John had ever seen the man. SHerlock slowly turned his head to John.

"Hang up the phone. Now." His voice was quiet and firm. It was intense and it unnerved John. "What SHerlcok why?"

"Hang up. THe. Phone."

John tunred back to the phone. "Hellena I don't think he does I will ask again later. I have to go I will try to give you a ring later ok?"

"Ok. Stay safe JOhn. Tell Mary high." THe call disconnected. John turned to SHerlock.

"WHat the bloody hell was that about?" He asked, not believing his friend's behavior. SHerlock wasn't looking at the files anymore he sat in his mind palace position but his fingers were pressed to his lips and he looked as if he was trying to fight back tears. Mary walked in. "what did I miss?"

"Hellena called." JOhn stated, turning to Mary. Sherlock stood and errupted. "DO NOT SAY THAT NAME." John started and Sherlcok breathed in. "John. Forgive me." He said and sat on the stool and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Sherlock, is there something i shoudl know?" John asked, taking a step towards his friend.

"Nothing but a memory.

* * *

THat was on the third day. John never called back but shot her a quick text as did MAry.

It was late and the sun was setting. This time tomorrow she would be heading home. SHe was taking one last walk through the moore. HSe took a path that lead up the hills until it hit a bridge. THis trail was actually the main road. THe gravel crunched beneath her feet as she walked. Her small black pea coat protected her from the biting wind. a tan knitted hat protected her head. She had no scarf. SHe coudl see her breath.

SHe stopped on the stone bridge. She looked over the side. there was no railing.

Hellena sat and let her feet dangle over the edge. THe water was inky black. Apparently it was very deep too.

She looked over the moore and thought about the case Henry told her about. ABout the night the men were chased by the hound. It sounded so interesting. Much better than the dull life he lead.

Although, losing your memories can be worse than dull. SHe would rather have dull ones than none.

Her thoughts turned to SHerlock. He sounded so familiar. Maybe she knew him. Did she run into him ever?

The song from the memory played in her head again. Shaking her head she stood and turned to go home. It was getting dark and she had no torch.

Pizza filled her nose when she entered the house. SHe entered the kitchen and say Henry with a box of pizza and two plates. he turned to her. "would you like to join me for dinner?"

She nodded and sat with him. SHe like Henry. He was quiet and didn't mid when she skipped meals. He let her do her own thing.

But she missed John and his nagging. As much as she hated to admit it, it felt like home back in baker street.

* * *

THe next day Hellena woke and showered slowly, like usual. This was her last morning here. TIme to go home.

She still had all day but wanted to spend the time packing and relaxing.

After her hour long shower, she grabbed a nice pair of dark skinny jeans and a green sweater with a thick cowl neck. She grabbed her pair of black ankle boots that had no heel.

She had the radio on. It was playing an AMerican song. It was by someone named avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger.

It was called Let me go.

She sat and listened to it. THe longer she listened to it the more she loved it. But she woudl not let it go. She was going to remember everything, ven if it killed her.

SHe turned off the radio and headed downstairs.

SHe was met with the smell of coffee and bacon. Henry was cooking breakfast THis would be the only morning she ate it.

"Good morning. Would you like some?" He offered. sHe smiled and nodded. "Yes please." She sat on a stool on the island. He gave her a mug and a few minutes later a plate with toast, bacon and fruit.

"THank you." SHe said and she dug in. She started with the fruit. Henry stood and read the newspaper as he drank his coffee. WHat he saw made him spit out his coffee. it startled Hellena.

"He's alive! Sherlock Homes is alive!" He showed her the paper. SHe forgot to tell him the other day so faked shock.

* * *

"Damn." Muttered Sherlock. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "SHerlock, maybe you did get everyone. Someone would have ended up dead by now if you hadn't."

It's only been a week since Sherlock had arrived but everyone had gone back to the way they used to be. Even the people at Scotland yard were glad to have him back.

"Unless someone left suddenly. IT would have taken them a few days to find them and catch up. ANd it doesn't even have to be someone I know. just a friend of yours." SHerlock twitched and sat ramrod straight. It hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt ice creep into his chest. His stomach dropped to hell.

"John." He said and snapped his head to his friend. "WHere did you send Hellena?" He asked.

"What? To Dartmoor."

"When?" SHerlock asked getting up and getting in John's face. "THe same day you came back. Sherlock you don't think-"

"It only makes sense. She is the only person who both you and I care for that has left London recently." SHerlock was grabbing his things and walked out the door. JOhn was following closely behind.

"Sherlock, what do you mean you care for her?! you yelled at her on the phone, do you even know her?" John was getting frustrated but walked right into Sherlock. SHerlock stopped and turned around to face him.

"I know her better than anyone." SHe pulled out his phone and hit the number for Lestrade.

"Lestrade. Get a car and phone Mycroft." He paused. Lestrade hesitantly inquired why. "It's a family matter." THere was another pause and Lestrade waited for an elaboration. Sherlock sighed. "Hellena. SHe is in danger."

"Oh god, SHerlock what did you do?" Lestrade asked. He knew Hellena but not as well as John. They met before her accident.

"I have done nothing to her. THe people who were targeting you was also assigned to her. We need to leave now to get ot Dartmoor. Meet us at the flat." SHerlock snapped and hung up. He stormed out of the building and John followed.

"Phone her." He said to John.

"what?"

"Phone Hellena." SHerlock told him. John tried three times. By the time they got to the flat there was still no answer. "SHe's not answering." He said as hy climbed the stairs.

SHerlock knew Hellena had moved in but he tried to avoid the flat as much as he could. "I'm going to call MAry. The two of them are close. SHe should come with us and I don't want MAry alone right now." SHerlock didn't argue but flew around the flat grabbing things he would need.

It was getting late, they were running out of time.

"Phone Henry. Is lestrade here yet?" He aksed frustrated. He ran to the window. Lestrade parked outside and Sherlock ran down the steps.

SHerlock's phone buzzed. **_I will meet you at the Knight's_**_ residence and I shall bring Ms. Mortisan with me.-MH_.

SHerlock climbed into the car. John followed. "We need to grab MAry." John insisted.

"Lestrade go. Now. John Mycroft is picking her up. He will explain everything on the way to Mary." Sherlock stated. Lestrade floored it.

It was an hour after they left when John broke the extremely tense silence.

"SHerlock, why are you so concerned for her? You practically chewed her out on the phone." John was so confused by his actions. Sherlock stiffened in the front seat. Lestrade shifted uncomfortably behind the wheel. He coughed, nervously.

"John. you once asked if I had a girlfriend. I told you it was not my area and I was married to my work. I never elaborated on it." Sherlock pused. Lestrad looked over to see him looking in his lap. In one of his gloved hands was a simple silver band. It was too delicate to be a man's. It as Hellena's.

John stared confused. He didn't understand. "SHerlock, were you-"

"I am married John. To an actual human being. Living, breathing just like everyone else. She just...doesn't remember." John oculdn't beleive what he was hearing. his best friend was married.

"It's Hellena. Hellena is your wife." John said quietly. SHerlock didn't answer.

"Sherlock-"

"Mycroft was fond of her. He found her amusing yet trying. SHe hit him the first time they met." Sherlock almost grinned at the memory.

"She hit him again. He showed up at the flt the day after she moved in." John stated. Sherlock smirked.

"Sherlock, she was preparing to join the military before Uni, right?" Lestrade asked suddenly. John quirked and eyebrow.

"Yes. But she didn't, she was shot in the knee by a loaded stunt gun. it was never supposed to be loaded." He answered the many questions circling through John's head.

"Yea, but she still took some of the training right? she could still have the muscle memory from that. If she needed to she could escape. Get out." Lestrade was trying to give SHerlock hope.

"Most likely. Hellena was never one to give up without a fight." SHerlock admitted. He stared out the window. THey needed to get to her soon. She would be defenseless if it was a sniper after her.

The sun was setting by the time the men made it to Henry's house. It was quiet. Sherlock noticed the door hanging open and the parked car next to Henry's/

Before Lestrade coudl even park, he was out the car and at the door, gun in hand. John and Lestrade followed suit.

"You two follow me. Once in, split. understood?" Lestrade ordered. This was the one time Sherlock would listen. Mycroft's car pulled up as they went in.

After the entry way, the men went in three different directions. HTey slowly moved through the house. THey walked silently, each man tense. HTeir hearts were beating rapidly and they tried to keep the negative thought out of their minds. Were they too late?

The seconds turned into minutes. Tense, stressfull minutes.

John found them first. He hid behind the wall that separated the hall and the kitchen. He peered his head around and saw Hellena on her knees, hands in the air. the gun was very close to her head but she looked more angry than scared. There was and injury on her arm. John saw Lestrade and Sherlock take up similar positions to his. All three came around the corner and aimed their guns at the man.

Hellena saw John first and didn't notice the other two men. John met her eyes for a second and went back to the man. Lestrade spoke.

"Sir, drop the gun. You are under arrest." The man just looked at him Lestrade tried again. He wasn't sure why, but they were forced to tell them twice.

THe man wasn't paying attention to Hellena so when she did move, it surprised the hell out of all of them Except Sherlock. He expected her to do something.

While the man was distracted Hellena took her chance. She hopped on her knees and brought her feet forward in a kick to the man's knees while she gripped the gun from him. He fell to the side with a broken knee and Hellena fell on her back, gun trained at the man.

He yelled in pain.

"You stupid bitch!" He yelled at her.

"You are and idiot. I told you so." SHe said calmly to the man. She didn't move until Lestarde cuffed him. Mary and Mycroft appeared in the door as John helped Hellena up.

"Oh hellena." Mary said motherly as she rushed over and checked her for anymore injuries. "Hellena are you ok?" Mary asked Hellena nodded at her friend.

"Henry." SHe whispered. "What?" John asked. "Henry, he's in the basement. He shot his leg." She breathed. Her heart was still pounding. As terrifying as it was, she enjoyed the adrenaline rush. Lestrade spoke up. "I'll take care of it." He said as he walked away with the assassin. He wasn't going anywhere with his broken knee.

Mycroft watched over the scene as Mary worried over Hellena. the dark haired woman laughed at her friend's worry. John stood smiling next to Mary. SHerlock hovered back by the door. "Hellena, let me look at your arm." John said. Hellena looked down and saw the blood.

"Hu. Ok. Didn't even realize i was bleeding." SHe said and let john lead her to a seat. When she turned to take a seat at the kitchen island, she spotted SHerlock and froze.

ANger, fear and pain flashed across her face. Sherlock looked at her. His face was fighting so many emotions.

"You!" SHe spat. "WHy are you here!" SHe turned to John and stepped back away from the men. "WHy is he here?! You brought him here!" She yelled and shoved John.

"Hellena!" Mary called.

"WHy did you bring him, John?! Did you know- oh you did knwo didn't you!" SHe accused. JOhn was confused. Mycroft stepped forward. JOhn spoke.

"Hellena, calm down. What are you-" SHe cut him off. "SHut up! You knew, you brought him here on purpose! I NEVER should have trusted you!" SHe was almost screaming at this point. SHerlock walked to her.

"Hellena." He pleaded.

"SHUT UP! WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SHOWING UP OUT OF THE BLUE?! Why can't you just stay out of my life?" SHe yelled at SHerlock and shoved him back.

"Every time. Every fucking time you seem me, you look so hurt, betrayed! Like it's my fault. Like it's my damned fault! WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!" SHe screamed the last part at him She couldn't stand the look of pain on his face. It was breaking her heart and tears were streaming down her face.

"I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING! i DON'T REMEMBER YOU, YOUR BROTHER, GREG! NONE OF YOU! i DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU!" she yelled at the entire room in general Lestrade had dragged Henry to the room, both curious at what was going on. Henry saw her. Her hair was a mes and she was crying. SHerlock reached for her shoulders.

"Hellena, please just list-" SHerlock tried to plead. He was cut off by Hellena. "I DON' WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY! LET ME GO i AM LEAVING!" SHe brushed offer SHerlock's hands and tried to turn but he grabbed her forearm.

Hellen was livid at this point. SHe was so frustrated with everything. Especially with him. But he anger came from her fear. HSe didn't know hwy it hurt to see him so sad. SHe was scared she was losing her mind.

Without realizing it she swung as hard as she could and hit SHerlcok in the chest. He stumbled back. SHe tried to run past but he grabbed her and spun her around. He slammed her head against his. It forced him back and he stumbled. John steadied him and Hellena took off out the kitchen and down the hall.

"WHere is she going?" Mary asked THey all heard a door slam.

"SHe's running." John said turning to Mycroft. He finally understood what Mycroft meant.

"We need to stop her before she gets hurt." Sherlock said rubbing his head. THey looked out the window to see her running up the main road. SHe had no shoes and no coat. It was very cold outside.

"THe bridge up the road, is there a way to get ahead of it? we could stop her that way." SHerlock asked Henry. He shook his head.

"No. A cab should be on its way though. If we are lucky it will stop her before she reaches it. SHe has a mile." THey were all walking outside. "THe best option is just following her."

SHerlock nodded and the moment he was outside he sprinted off after her, leaving everyone else stunned. John watched open mouthed. as did Mary and Lestrade. Henry was smiling and Mycroft shook his head. John made to move but mary held him back.

"Maybe we should give him a head start. We have cars." She said to John. JOhn had forgotten about them.

"Perhaps we should wait, give them some time." Lestrade suggested. "John, could you look at my leg for a minute?" Henry asked. John quickly obliged, doctor mode kicking in.

* * *

SHerlock ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He was getting closer to her but the sun was almost gone. He needed to stop her before it got too dark.

Hellena pushed her legs faster. Tears started to blur her visions. Why was he here? Was he trying to make her life even more of a hell? SHe could see the bridge ahead. She kept running. The man was getting closer. He was few yards away when she reached the bridge. Half way across a cab came over the crest of the hill and slammed on its breaks. It stopped right in front of the bridge.

THe screetchig tires and blinding headlights brought Hellena to a crouch. She screamed and waited for the truck she was seeing to hit her.

"Hellena!" a voice called out. "Hellena!" It yelled closer this time. SHe heard footsteps. they stopped a few feet from her. She focused on her breathing. there was no truck, just a can. she was ok. She stood quickly. SHe tried to run again but a hand grabbed her wrist. she wrenched it form the man's grasp and turned to face him. SHe backed away form him. "WHay do you want from me?!" She screamed at him.

He didn't know what to say. "WHo are you?" SHe demanded.

"SHerlcok Holmes." He replied quickly. both were breathing heavy.

"Why are you chasing me?"

"You ran."

"SO?" She challenged. He stepped forward and she stepped back.

"Why are you running?" He asked. "What are you running from?" This time it was Hellena's turn to be silent. sHe didn't know. sHe just didn't want to see him so sad.

"You know who I am. you know me better than anyone. Think, Hellena!" He insisted and took a step closer. She stepped back. "Stay away from me!"

Sherlock froze and watched her. "Please. just try to remember." he pleaded. "Stop it!" She tried to yell but it came out as a choked sob. "Stop being so sad. Why are you so hurt. Why won't you tell me what I did?! What did I do to you?! why do you hate me?!" SHe sobbed.

SHerlock looked shocked. Did she really think that? "Hellena. I could never hate you." He took a slow step forward and she stayed where she was. She looked at the ground. His voice was so familiar. She closed her eyes and tried to remember. She almost had it!

Somethign about Uni. They met in uni.

He helped her in Calc.! He was the one who helped her! They became close, moved out of the dorms, roomed together.

Her memory started flooding back to her. Her head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed. She was remembering things. It was like a flood gate opened. SHe coudln;t sort it out.

_SHerlock_. SHe thought. anything related to the name SHerlock.

THe move, the skull that sent her slobbing to the floor on John;s apartment, the cases, the chases, working with Lestrade, the plates, the dinner of penne she made, the ring.

The ring. What about a ring. SHe couldn't quite remember it.

"Hellena?" Sherlock asked cautiously. Suddenly two cars came over the crest of the hill behind Sherlock. They stopped suddenly as well and one bumped into the other. The lights hit her eyes. She could hear the ruck crunching and the lights blinded her. SHe shrieked and stepped back.

Her foot didn't land on anything and she felt herself falling. she opened her eyes. sHe was falling off the eyes were wide and she fell through the layer of ice that formed over the deep black water.

Someone called her name.

Her read hit the ice hard. It knocked her out. Her body sank into the dark waters of the moore.

Sherlock couldn't believe what he just saw. His wife just fell off the bridge He called her name as she fell. He took off his coat as John ran over to him. "SHerlock! what happened? WHat are you doing?"

"I'm going in after her." He took of his shoes. "JOhn I only have minutes. Try to fins something in the cars to warm her up when i get her out." He jumped.

The ice did not cover all the water. Hellena just managed to hit her head on one. SHerlock avoided the ice and plunged in.

He swam until he saw he still form in the murky water. He grabbed under her arms and forced them to the surface. "John!" he called as he swam to the side.

He got her onto the grass and checked for breathing. SHe wasn't breathing and there was no pulse. "JOhn!" He called again as he began CPR. John Appeared by his side as did Lestrade. Mycroft stayed with Mary who was crying for her friend.

"Hellena, please wake up." John pleaded. Lestrade handed over the mouth to mouth resuscitation equipment. Sherlock was going to have use it in a second. SHerlock kept counting. he refused to let her leave him again. John and Lestrade pleaded to her and Sherlock kept counting.

Sherlock had done 23 out of the 30 chest compressions when Hellena coughed. SHe began to cough up the water that infested her lungs.

"Oh thank god." Breathed John as he and Lestrade helped roll her onto her stomach. SHe coughed up everything and vomited twice. SHe hadn't eaten anything besides breakfast that day so it was mostly bile.

"Hellena, hun, can you hear me?" Lestrade asked her. SHe nodded. John had her by they shoulders. SHe could barely support herself. SHe could barely stay awake. She felt something warm get wrapped around her. It was soft. She leaned into John. Something else was wrapped around her. It was heavier and warm. But it smelt so familiar.

It smelt like Sherlock. It smelt like her Sherlock.

Her fingers searched the grass for him. She could barely move. Mary was there suddenly. Mycroft was peering over her. Mary stroked her friend's cheek.

SHe was speaking but Hellena couldn't hear her. SHe was so dazed. Her fingers brushed against something cool. It moved in response to her touch.

Her fingers gently wrapped around Sherlock's slender, strong ones. He squeezed them gently, letting her know he was there.

She slipped into sleep like that. Before she slipped away completely she saw the lights from an ambulance flashing.

Her sleep was filled with dreams, memories. But the struck stayed away. SHe didn't wake up once.

SHe was remembering.

* * *

It was late at night by the time they reached Baker street. Ms. Hudson fussed over everyone she saw.

Hellena had been cleared by the medics in the ambulance to go home only because John was a doctor. SHe wasn't awake the entire time. She never realized that the entire way home, she was curled into Sherlock's sided, gripping his shirt like her life depended on it.

Nor did she realize he placed a gentle kiss on her temple.

SHerlock carried her into the flat. Mary grabbed some of Hellena's pajamas and changed her in the privacy of SHerlock's room. SHerlock pulled back the covers of his bed and set her down. She grabbed the pillow and buried her face in it. He pulled the covers over her and watched her sleep for a minute.

She looked like the Hellena he knew. the one who always smiled and laughed.

He quietly left the room and entered the living room where Ms. Hudson was feeding everyone. John was Holding Mary close and speaking with Lestrade.

Sherlock walked over to his brother.

"Mycroft."

"SHerlock."

There was an awkward silence between the two.

"Thank you. For helping this evening." Sherlock said, not able to look his brother in the eye. Mycroft stayed silent for a second.

"It was my pleasure. SHe is my sister-in-law after all." He sadi and swung his umbrella up, inspecting the tip.

"I hope you do not mind, but I would like to stay until tomorrow morning, to make sure she is well." Mycroft stated. Sherlock nodded. "THere is a spare room upstairs." He walked over to John and Lestrade. Mycroft followed.

"Mycroft is staying the night." SHerlock stated. John stared at his friend. He couldn't believe what he just hear but didn't push it.

"Well, it is late. I should be off." Lestrade said.

"Are you goign to be ok for the drive home?" John asked him.

"Yep. Besides. I have paperwork. Sherlock, tomorrow come down to the yard. I need your statement." Sherlock nodded. "Of course. Good evening."

"Goodnight everyone." He called as he marched down the steps and out the door. Ms. Hudson was gone back to bed by now.

"John, perhaps I should go." Mary said.

"Nonsense MAry, you are more than welcome to stay the night." JOhn offered. Mary hesitated a moment, biting her delicate lip. SHe nodded. "Alright I will." John smiled.

"Mycroft I can show you to your room for the night."

"AH, thank you John." THe trio left. Sherlock stood alone in the living room.

Pulling the ring out of his pocket, he went back to his room. He watched her sleep for a few minutes.

Leaning down, he kissed her temple and set the ring on the night stand before leaving. The door closed silently and her dreaming was undisturbed.

* * *

next chapter up tomaorw fuck the spelling it quarter to four am.

what do you guys think?

next chapters are goign to be fluffy and sweet! im so exctied! the next one is gonna be epic i hope.

Reveiw please hapy holidays! 3


	3. Chapter 3 home

Home

Hey guys thanks so much for liking this. Sorry about the spelling but it is too late at night ot proofread and I want to get these updated as soon as possible. How do you guys like it so far? Please review!

This chapter is actually what started the whole story. I imagined her running to him and telling him while Story of my life played in the background

Enjoy

Hellena was not dreaming. It may have seemed like a dream but these were her memories. Her memories were coming back to her.

She remembered everything. She remembered what she could about her family, their deaths, her schooling. She remembered after highschool she left to join the military. She was excelling at the boot camp and was a master marks man. She was training to be one of the best snipers when a stunt gun for their color guard actually had a bullet loaded by accident. During one of the tricks, the trigger was pulled and it shattered her knee.

After she was healed she went to Uni. She didn't know what she wanted to do. Eventual she found crime was her passion and was studying criminology. She met Sherlock at Uni. The first time was her Cal. And Symbology classes. They helped each other. Over the next few semesters, they would assist each other in their classes and Hellena picked up a bit of Sherlock's deduction skills. She met Sebastian but thought he was an ass.

sHe would eventually graduate as one of the top students. She would begin at Scotland yard and that was where Hellena met Greg Lestrade. They became friends. Nothing close but friends.

She became a pro at interrogations. She was terrifying.

"_Hellena, can you please talk to him?" Greg asked her. They had a suspect down in the interrogation room. According to Sherlock he was responsible for the mass murders of several people by burning them alive. HEllena nodded and walked to the rooms. When she sat in front of the man she was silent and he leered at her with a creepy grin. Sherlock and Lestrade were behind the mirror, watching. Sherlock was not happy about the way he was eyeing her._

_She sat there, studying him, trying to find out anything usefull. She read his file but left it at her desk._

_After ten minutes have passed, she was still staring. tHE man was agitated and slammed his fists on the desk. She didn't flinch._

"_You gonna say something?" He yelled._

"_Abuse." She spilled out the word. He looked at her confused. "You were abused by your drug addicted father. He hit your mother too. He overdosed when you were ten. Mother followed quickly after him. She was suicide." She stated coldly. The man was getting angry. Hellena pulled out the case file and showed him the pictures of the children of his victims. They would be going to foster care just like he did. Foster care was an unpleasant experience. _

_Eventually, after hours of prying, yelling and making the victims humans to him, he broke down. It took a long time but she got the confessions. _

_That was how she worked. She would find a soft spot and pry it open until they broke down. _

_But one case hit so close to her heart. Children were disappearing from schools. They had the man but he refused to tell. Hellena was their only option. Unfortunalty the case had drained her. She had been shot in the arm and almost rescued one little girl she was told to protect. It was her job and the girl was still kidnapped. Hellena wasn't eating or sleeping. She was tired._

_But she still entered the interrogation room and locked the door. She sat and stared at the grinning man. She read his file. Nothing useful. He just sat and watched her, smiling and humming._

_Not even a minute in she decided to ditch her original plan. _

"_What do you want?" She asked. The man raised his eyebrows at her. They discussed back and forth about the question before she realized she was getting no where. She asked questions but got minute long explanations that never had an actual answer. She was getting frustrated. She snapped at the man. The man's fury exploded without warning and he flipped the table towards her. Hellena shot up out of her seat and to the side. Sherlock and Greg ran to the door but it was locked. They could hear the struggle._

_Eventually they rammed the door down. Hellena was sitting on the man's back, a gun pressed to the back of his head. She was bleeding from the mouth. The man wasn't even awake anymore._

_They did eventually find the children. Hellena was asleep the moment she got in a cab._

Sherlock had seen the toll the emotions took when you got too close to a case and decided to never try to become attatched.

Hellena remembered the first time she helped Sherlock solve a case. They were still in uni and very young. Hellena had always had a fearless attitude and still did. She was unfazed when the university had a rapist running around. She could take out the attacker quick enough thanks to her time with the military and she stayed in shape. She had been cornered one night by three drunk jocks. She could take out one of them but could not take out three. Lucky for her, Sherlock had been passing by at the time and noticed the three cornering her. He helped her when a struggle broke out and the two of them managed to take out the three drunks. He escorted her to her dorm.

The next day she bought him coffee as a thanks. He was surprised by the gesture. They sat together and discussed the issues she was having in her Calculus class. It was like the night before did not happen.

Hellena stuck close to him after that.

Time passed and they grew close. They helped each other with their classes and she would tag along when he would help with minor robbery cases.

It wasn't long before Hellena found Sherlock's romantic side. He was inexperienced with relationships but Hellena was patient and easy going. Despite his inexperience, he never failed to surprise her with how sweet the seemingly cold man could be. It wasn't long until she met Mycroft. She had smacked him.

It was a misunderstanding. She thought he was trying to abduct her. Mycroft has his employees pick up people for him after that.

Despite the awkward first meeting the two got along. Mycroft approved of her, luckily. At first he was not amused by her antics or jabs but she grew on him. He found himself bcomeing slightly protective of her as well.

It was a little after graduation when they got married. She had just gotten a job at Scotland yard a week earlier. After all the interning she was basically already an employee but just not official.

Lestrade was at the wedding. The Holmes's paid for it. And her dress. Mycroft wanted to make sure she had a properly expensive dress or the occasion.

It clung to her torso but at her hips it fell gently to her ankles. The fabric was a soft silk and the sleeves were off shoulder and short. A detailed beading decorated the sleeves and the neckline of the dress. Hse had a small birdcage veil and no train. It was very simple but she wanted simple.

Her hair was pinned back and trailed down her back in gentle curls. There were six diamond bobby pins used.

She was stunning.

The rings were simple. Just silver bands but their names were engraved on the inside. Hellena insisted.

The entair affair was simple yet elegant. Mycroft was the best man. Her maid of honor was a woman she was close with in uni. The woman died a few years later.

Hellena remembered waking up the next morning to see the ring on her finger and her husband looking at her. His hair was messy and he still looked a bit tired. She probably didn't look much better. She climbed out of bed in one of his shirts, socks and underwear. She was so thrilled to be wearing her _husband's_ shirt. She made breakfast and he actually ate.

Three years passed and they worked together on cases.

One case was particularly taxing on both of them. Sherlock was not getting any results and Hellena was frustrated with his antics.

They had gotten into an argument again. They had fights and arguments like any couple. Words were said that weren't meant. Feelings hurt, forgiveness.

But this was their last case. They had begun the fight over something small but both were so frustrated with the case. They took it out on each other.

Hellena remembered the comment that ended the fight. After she yelled it, she stormed out the door.

"_Sherlock, some days I wish I could delete everything about you from my mind like you can delete everything else!"_ She stormed out and went to Scotland Yard, not seeing the look of hurt that took over Sherlock's face. He stood there for an hour, just staring at where she stood, trying to process how to fix the issues at hand. He was so lost and the woman he loved just stormed out.

Hours later he approached her, face emotionless. He had figured it out.

The case involved a bomber who left clues for his next target. The next target was a small bridge on the Thames. Hellena drove them in a police car. They didn't speak to each other, she was trying to get a hold of the bomb squad. Traffic on their end was backed up and they had to get out of the car at the entrance of the bridge.

They both took off running to the small building where the bridge workers operated and maintained the bridge.

Hellena slipped on ice and landed in the opposing ane. She got up and began to run when the truck tipped over and slid into her and knocked her off the bridge.

Hellena woke with a yll and sat up quickly. The horns of the cars and trucks echoing in her ears. She was breathing heavily as she took in the scene around her.

It was an unfamiliar room with familiar things. She looked at the night stand and saw her ring. It was her ring. Smiling and fighting tears, she put it back on her finger. After six years, the ring still felt right.

Then she remembered her husband. Who he was and what the last thing she said to him was. She gasped and rolled off the bed. "Sherlock!" she croaked out, her throat was sore from dorwning the night before. She crawled to the door and flung it open and pulled herself up. She was sore but it didn't matter. "Sherlock!" She called out, her voice stronger.

"Hellena, you're up! What's worng?" John asked heading towards her. She laughed and almost tackled him with a hug. "John! John! I remember! I remember!" She laughed and spun them around. John lifted her up and spun her. She had finalayy gotten her memories back. Mary wlake din.

"John, is everything ok?" She asked. John beamed and Hellena ran to her and grabbed her shoudlers. "Mary! I have a husband! I had a wedding! I graduated from uni! I remember everything!" She practically yelled. Mary stared in shock and surprise at her energy. She was speechless. Mycroft enetered the room questioning the commotion. She ran and hugged him around the middle. He froze but allowed her. She stepped back.

"I remember everything! I know you! I know who you are, Mycroft and I know who your brother is!" She yelled happily. Mycroft couldn't help but smile.

"See, I told you she was remembering." She heard John say to Mary. "Where is Sherlock! I need to talk to him!" Hellena yelled, remembering why she needed to speak with her husband.

"He went down to the Yard a while ago. He should be returning shortly." Mycroft informed her. She frowned and made her way to the door. "No, I need ot see him now!"

"Hellena, your clothes!" Mary called after her.

"Later!" was the only response they got as she bolted out the door and down baker street in her long black pajama pants and long sleeved plum pajama shirt. She was barefoot and stepped on class but didn't care. She needed to tell Sherlock.

As she ran tears of excitement, joy and pure happiness tried to blur her vision but she kept running and smiling. She bolted acroos the street. A horn honked and tires screeched. She ran into a cab that suddenly stopped. She rolled over the hood and fell to the ground.

She tried to get up as quickly aas she could but felt dizzy. "Ma'am! Are you ok?" Someone tried to help her up but she pushed herself up and started to walk away. "I have to go, I am sorry but I need to find Sherlock!" She called and ran again. The cabbie stared befuddled before calling Scotland yard.

* * *

"THank you SHerlock for coming in for the report." Lestrade told the man sitting in front of him. SHerlock still had on his gloves and coat. He was still and quiet, not a single emotion visible but Lestrade knew what was bothering the man.

SHerlock merely nodded and stood. "I assume that is all you need me for, detective." He said. Lestrade stood and went to the door. "Yeah. If we get a case, do you-" the detective was cut off as Sally Donovan swung open the door. "Sir. Just got a call about a mad woman running around London in her pajamas." SHe said. Lestrade shook his head. SHerlock quirked an eyebrow.

"Not our division, Donovan." Lestrade said with a sigh. "Sir, she is looking for Sherlock." the two men exchanged looks. THere was no way it could be Hellena.

Donovan went back to her desk but was almost knocked over by a woman.

Lestrad stepped out of his office followed closely by Sherlock. He was looking around and didn't notice the woman charging at him. Lestrade was frozen in shock of seeing Hellena.

Hellena Jumped at Sherlock and wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on Sherlock's mouth. To the suprise of the entire division, he wrapped his arms around her back and kissed her back. He could taste her morning breath he was so familiar with. SHe must have just woken up. THe force of Hellena colliding into him made him take a step back. He took a few more back into Lestrade's office. THe detective followed, flabbergasted. THe couple kissed for a few more seconds before they broke apart. "I'll give you two a minute." He muttered and wlaked out of his office and closed the door. He walked over to Anderson and Donovan.

"WHo the hell is that?" Anderson asked. Lestrade smiled. "THat's his wife."

"THe freak has a wife?" Sally asked incredulously. Lestrade shook his head. "It's a long story." Lestrade looked over his shoulder to see John, Mary and Mycroft walking in. "Greg, where is-oh my god." John muttered the last bit and would have fallen over if Mary had not been supporting him. Mycroft and Mary had small smiles at the two kissing. Mary laughed lightly at John's reaction.

Hellena grabbed onto the lapels of his coat after the two broke apart. SHerlock took her head in his hands and rested his forehead on hers. SHe could see his eyes reddening. He was trying so hard to fight the tears. He rubbed his thumb over a small cut on her head but she smiled, small tears rolling down her cheek. He wiped it away.

"SHerlcok, Sherlock I remember!" SHe whispered. He looked at her, hope filling his chest.

"Hellena, what do you remember?" He said quietly but above a whisper.

"Everything." SHe breathed. Her hand rested over one of his and she stroked the gloved hand. "SHerlock I remember everything. I remember meeting you, getting your help. HTe night you saved me. I know Mycroft and GReg. You and I worked cases. I was a cop. SHerlock I remember our time together. Our rings, my dress." SHe paused and sniffed.

"I remember marrying you." Her voice was just above a whisper now. "SHerlock I remember loving you. I remember why I love you so much." Her last sentence came out with sobs of joy. SHerlock exhaled a shaky breathe he hadn't realized he held. "SHerlock Holmes, I love you." SHe said a bit louder and her tears streamed. Sherlock smiled brokenly and pulled her close. He buried his head in her neck and breathed her in.

One his hands tangled his fingers in her messy hair at the base of her head and forced her as close to him as possible. the other hand was around her waist bringing her even closer to him. She could feel his shaking as his silent tears fell down his hidden face. Her arms wrapped around him and rested on his back. she turned her face into the mop of curls she missed so dearly. SHe smelled his cologne. Hellena rubbed his back as he cried into her. "I love you Sherlock Holmes." SHe muttered a few times before hugging him tight, her own tears falling.

They stood there for a while, breathing each other in, relishing their closeness. They were in their own little world and oblivious to the small audience watching.

Hellena woke up with the longing for his company. She had gone six years without him and now that she remembers him, the thought of doing it again would be unbearable. Sherlock never wanted to let her go again. He didn't want to risk her forgetting him again.

The small group watched as their friends and family reconnected in a few short moments after six years. They all had a smile at the scene. Sally and Anderson were not present.

Hellena, still clad in her pajamas and no shoes had ran through London to get to Sherlock. Her hair was a mess and she had a bit of blood on her. But she did not care. She had Sherlock back and he knew she loved him. That was what was important. The group watched as after a few minutes, Sherlock picked Hellena up and spun her around gently once, her laughter reached them as did her smile.

Sherlock set her back down gently and kissed her deeply before resting his head on hers. He smiled down at her fondly, his hands on her waist. Hellena wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down for one more small kiss.

She could not get enough of him. SHe was warm and dizzy. But then again she might have a concussion. SHe looked at his eyes. THey were rimmed with red but he was no loner crying and his nose was a bit red.

"Hey, Sherlock?" SHe whispered. He hummed in response, smiling softly down at her. "You're not going to believe this, but I ran all the way to Scotland Yard in my pajamas." she said quietly. "ANd i ran into a damned taxi again." SHe laughed a bit. SHe had done it several times before. Sherlock chuckled a bit. "Let's have John look at you." He said quietly, kissing her forehead lightly before leading her out to the group waiting for them.

John and Mary ran to them, Jon was immediately inspecting her head. As he probed the only part that was tender was the small cut. the entire time he lectured her about looking both ways and wearing shoes. she was tired but smiled and leaned against her husband, the adrenaline was gone.

John smiled softly. Lestrade clapped Sherlock on his shoulder, beaming. "Congratulations." Sherlock smiled a small smile and nodded in thanks.

Mycroft walked over, his smirky smile still in place. "Well, might I suggest i escort the four of you back to the flat?" He offered. Hellena nodded sleepily and everyone's words blended together. her feet were throbbing as she soon felt the glass in her feet. SHe took a few shaky steps before SHerlock stopped her, noticing her pain. He took off his coat and wrapped it around her small frame before lifting her up in his arms, bridal style. Hellena smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. She was so tired. Sherlock held her like that all the way home.

John and Mary were speaking to Sherlock and Mycroft bout something. Hellena couldn't hear it. HSe was almost asleep when she heard Mary's small squeal of delight. It startled her awake. She was alert now. Sherlock kissed her temple.

"What happened?" Hellena asked quietly. Her voice was still sore.

"Nothing to worry about." Sherlock replied. "Mary became excited by a suggestion from Mycroft." SHerlock explained.

"Hm? What was it?" SHe asked, slipping back into her groggy state.

"I merely suggested you and my brother renew your vows in celebration of your reunification. " Mycroft explained. Hellena nodded and smiled. "I think that'd be nice." She muttered before slipping away from the conversation and into a sleep. For once the truck did not show.

She was startled awake when Sherlock gently set her on the couch. THey were back at Baker street. Mycroft and Mary had left but John was still there.

Sherlock had set her on the couch next to John. John had the supplies to clean and bandage her feet. Her hand reached out and grabbed Sherlock. sHe was barely awake. He gripped her hand gently and kissed it, crouching down to her level.

"He's going to get the glass out of your feet." He told her she nodded but let out a hiss and brought her foot up when the disinfectant hit her foot.

"Sorry. I wish I had something to give you, ,but then again I don't think you should have a painkiller at the moment." At the word painkiller she froze. Sherlock knew what was going to happen and reached out ot gently force her shoulder back on the couch. She had tried to sit up and get off the couch.

"Hellena. Breathe. It's just John." Sherlock told her gently. John was startled by her sudden reaction and eyed the two curiously. SHerlock turned to him and quietly told him not to mention them around her for a while. He would explain later.

John went to removing the glass. Luckily, they were not extremely small and didn't go too deep. He wrapped up her feet and gentle set them down. He looked over to see Sherlock stroking his wife's face and John smiled at his best friend. He stood and put the things away. He had dropped Mary off at her place before they arrived at Baker Street.

He walked back into the living room to see SHerlock in the same position.

John hated to interrupt but he had to leave for work. "SHerlock." He said quietly. SHerlock hmmed in response. "I have to leave. If you need anything just call. I'll pick up something for dinner."

"Pick up milk." John rolled his eyes and left. Sherlock remained crouched next to his wife, gently rubbing his exposed thumb on her cheek. He had missed he so much.

He remained there for a few more minutes before he stood. THe absence of his hand woke her and she sat up.

"Sherlock." SHe yawned and stretched. "SOrry. long morning." SHe said and smiled. "Worth it though." SHe said with a grin. Sherlock smiled and leaned down, giving her a kiss. He stood again and began to walk away. "Give me a minute." He said to her over his shoulder. She nodded and sat curled in his coat.

He came back with a white photo album. It was from their wedding. He also brought out a sheet adn wrapped her in it, hanging up his jacket. "Tea?"

"Yes please." He grabbed both of them tea. He set the mugs on the coffee table and sat next her. He pulled her gently on his lap and held her in a close embrace.

"I missed you." He admitted quietly. Not knowing what to say, Hellena grabbed his face gently and kissed him. THey kissed for a few minutes before they broke apart. Sherlock kissed her nose and she smiled.

THey spent the next few hours pouring over the album. Hellena laughed at the memories. They spoke of what they wanted to change in the upcoming ceremony.

SHe saw pictures of her in her dress, Sherlock in his tux. A much younger Lestrade and Mycroft were in some of them. SHe saw her favorite picture. It was of her and Sherlock during their first dance. He had leaned her back in a dip at the end of the song. She was laughing as Sherlock grinned at the beauty in his arms. Hellena stroekd the picture, remembering the dance fondly. The next picture was one she would have to show John when he came home.

SHe and SHerlock had just cut the ornate wedding cake. She had placed some of the icing form her slice on her husband's nose. SHerlock rolled his eyes and smiled at the antics. Hellena giggled at the picture.

He was siting on SHerlock's lap, sipping tea and flipping through the pages. She leaned against him and could feel his heartbeat against her back. His arms were around her and his head rested on her had left around noon.

by two thirty, Hellena's stomach growled loudly. SHerlock chuckled and she felt it against her back. "I'll make you something." He said as he kissed her temple. He gently slid out form under her and went to look for food.

Hellena was studying her ring, biting her lip when SHerlock returned. He offered her the plate and furrowed his eyebrows. "Something wrong?" He asked. SHe shook her head.

"Just wondering, where is your ring?" SHe inquired. Sherlock smiled and made his way to his room. sHe heard him open a and close a box. When he returned he showed her the ring and let her place it on his finger. His fingers curled around hers and she brought the hand to his lips. Hellena leaned into him and hugged him tightly. He held her close and kissed the top of her head. THey sat there silent for a few moments.

Hellena was eating her food quietly as her and Sherlock watched a show on the small telly. He would make small comments about the plot and characters hat woudl make Hellena laugh. THe only reason she ever watched television was so she could hear SHerlock comment on it and even yell at the telly.

HTey were sitting comfortable when John returned. Hellena smiled at him and SHerlock was just saring at the telly.

"Hello, John!" SHe said happily. JOhn smiled and returned the greeting.

"Hello, I brought food from Angelo's. He said he knew what you liked. Even gave us free dessert! You have to go see him soon though." John told Hellena. SHe beamed. SHe hadn't had Angelo's in years. It was where her and Sherlock had their first date.

John readied the food and gave them each their own plates. Sherlock was actually eating this evening. John sat in his chair as he ate. "Joh, you have to look at our wedding photos. THere is one i think you would enjoy." Hellena said. SHerlock rolled his eyes.

"Hellena, must you show everyone the photo?" He asked. SHe had shown many people the photo.

"Haven't shown anyone in six years. I want to show John." SHe pouted. SHerlock rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead. John walked over and Sherlock allowed Hellena to grab the photo ablum. John listened as Hellena told him about every photo. When she showed him the picture of Sherlock with cake on his face he couldn't help but laugh. SHerlock rolled his eyes. "Yes, laugh away." Hellena Kissed his hand, bringing a small smile to his face.

Hellena and John swapped stories about working with SHerlock. until it was late. They all avoided Sherlock's fake death. It was not something to be discussed that night. John and Hellena laughed at the many situations they found themselves in with SHerlock.

Hellena let out a large yawn. It had gotten late. John smiled. "Perhaps you should get some sleep. I'll see you two in the morning." John said as he stood to go to his own room. "Goodnight." He called over his shoulder.

"Goodnight." SHerlock bid him as he helped up Hellena. SHe yawned before bidding John goodnight and allowed SHerlock to usher her to the bedroom. He picked her up but the waist like when he spun her and gently fell onto the bed with her. He kicked off his shoes and brought the covers around them. Hellena watched him with a smile. She would be sleeping with her husband for the first time in six years. SHerlock pulled the covers around them and pulled her close. She fit right under his chin and she wrapped an arm around his torso.

After a few moments, she whispered to him in the dark room. "Will you be here when I wake up?" SHe asked and looked up at him. He met her gaze.

"Yes." He breathed. "Will you remember me then?" He asked genuinely. SHe could see the worry behind his eyes. She smiled and kissed his jaw. "Of course." She whispered. SHerlock kissed her lips gently but firmly and hugged her close. Their legs entangled themselves and Sherlock buried his face in her hair as she hid her face in his chest.

Hellena listened to her husband's breathing. it was steady and familiar. She allowed it to lull her to sleep.

Hellena fell asleep quickly in Sherlock's arms, relaxed and completely at peace with herself.

THat night she slept without the reoccurring nightmare. After six years she finally slept soundly in teh comfort of her husband's arms.

The truck would not wake her this time.

* * *

hello! what do you think? i hope it is long enough and i hope you all like it! please reveiw! i cant wait for teh next chapter for you guys. It will be the vow renewal ceremony. please reveiew.

thank you to those who have reveiwed, followed and favorited!

fuck the spelling.


	4. Chapter 4 good moorning

Hellena woke up too early for her taste. For once she had slept through the night completely at peace. She felt an arm wrapped over her waist, pulling her against a firm, warm entity. Her husband lay quietly behind her. She couldn't tell if he was awake or not.

Rubbing the sleep from her yes she reached out and grabbed her phone. It was about eight in the morning. She opened the phone and Sherlock shifted behind her. The arm around her waist tightened and brought her even closer into his chest. She felt cool lips on the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "Sherlock, what's Lestrade's number? I want to call and see if I can get my job there back." She asked. She felt a rumble in his chest and his hand lazily removed the phone from her hand before gently tossing it across the room Hellena sighed. "That was rude." She rolled over to look at Sherlock. His eyes were half open.

"Mycroft and Lestrade are already doing the necessary paper work. You can go back to work when John clears you." Sherlock all but mumbled before kissing her gently. Hellena accepted the kiss and relaxed into him. He gently rolled them so he was on top. He held himself above her, one leg between hers and both hands around her face.

He slowly released her lips and rested his head on hers. Hellena opened her eyes halfway and looked into her husband's eyes. She could feel his breath on her face, the heat of his body just close enough for her to feel. Her hands reached up to entangle themselves in his dark curls.

"I have missed you, Hellena." He breathed quietly. She smiled and brought him down for another deep kiss. Sherlock slowly lowered himself to press against her, gently pinning her on the bed. She hummed pleasantly. She loved the feel of her husband on top of her, the comfort of him being there, enveloping her in his warmth and strength, keeping her safe.

Hellena could feel herself beginning to drift back to sleep. "Sherlock." She mumbled into the kiss. His lips left hers and trailed along her jaw and then neck. He hummed in response. Hellena closed her eyes and relaxed even more with the kisses. She was falling asleep.

"You need to make me coffee if you want me awake." She said quietly. Sherlock smiled into her neck and one hand traveled to her waist. The other wrapped around her and brought her closer. "Sherlock." She said in a warning tone. She needed coffee if she wAs going to stay awake. He sighed. "No."

He continued kissing her neck softly. "You need sleep." Hellena rolled her eyes. "I don't want sleep." Sherlock chuckled deeply, the rumbling noise was felt by Hellena. He lifted his head and smiled at her grumpy expression. His ,hand on his waist rested on her cheek, the thumb caressing cheek. He kissed her deeply. He worked expertly on her lips, trying to kiss her back into sleep. He could feel her begin to relax even further and moved back to her jaw and neck. Sherlock left a trail of kisses down her neck. He gently nipped at the skin right above where her pulse could be found. The hum of a response told him she was drifting back to sleep. He began to kiss and suck on the spot until a decently sized hockey had formed. He smirked at his work before kissing the spot.

Hellena had drifted back to sleep. She would be irked with him when she woke but she did need to rest. He briefly remembered the other times he had to kiss her to put her to sleep. It was rather odd. Most people would be woken up quickly but for Hellena, the kissing was relaxing and comforting. It was the best way to get her to sleep.

Sherlock placed a kiss on her forehead before climbing out of bed and beginning his day.

Sorry it's so short. Busy with class and work. Hope to get back to t hi is soon.


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